What would happen if we didn’t fart? CBBC will tell us! 

23 May 2008 tbs.pm/903

There is absolutely no doubt at all. Not one bit. You can guarantee that is there’s one programme that’s going to set the “decline of broadcasting” brigade off, it’s new CBBC programme Gastronuts, which, according to the Guardian, will “encourage kids to stew worms, catch farts in jars and bake toenail cakes”.

Of course we shouldn’t worry too much attention to what the Sun or the Daily Mail might have to say on the matter (and so far they haven’t, but surely they must at some point!) because it’s about time there were more programmes like this. The commissioner of the programme proclaims it “will encourage children to dabble in the science of food and nutrition” – with the aim of telling kids about how food is grown, manufactured and sold. Given that the closest many children get to a turkey is a Turkey Twizzler, that’s no bad thing at all. Surveys have shown huge proportions of children have absolutely no concept of where their food comes from.

But ultimately here’s a programme that’s going to ask a question that even most adults don’t know – just what would happen if we didn’t fart? Now why didn’t anyone ever tell me that when I was a child?

A member of the Transdiffusion Broadcasting System
Liverpool, Sunday 2 October 2022