6 November 2013 tbs.pm/1324

Remember when people started telling you in ernest about the “red button”. You know. The one that wasn’t the power button. (Although on Sony TVs in 2003, the power button was green. Go figure.)

Well my hard drive does, because on it I found this… In the vain of MeejaTypes it was written, but never published. Until now. Although you might wish it hadn’t been…

Dear staff member

Hello there! Yes, it’s Captain Charlies Portent here, writing this electronic memo thingy majig to let you know about the latest exciting developments from the new Brownlegg Broadcasting Company (CHECK NAME) interactive television department.

Yes, we have now launched our new landmark interactive television service, available from all Brownlegg channels on all digital platforms that use satellite dishes!

As we’re the Brownlegg Broadcasting Corporation’s Interactive service, we’ve chosen the obvious name – yes, iBBC. iBBC will knock the spots off nasty old Ceefax and Teletext, with their nasty blocky graphics and horrible page numbers.

Our new service will provide our viewers with the best interactive service possible, adding and enhancing our television programmes, and providing round the clock information. So what’s in store?

Interactive Sport!

Using the latest interactive technology, our award winning coverage of crown green bowling will now be even better thanks to iBBC! Pressing the red button will allow you to play our bowling quiz, place bets on the outcome of the games, play our special bowling game on your TV and download ringtones of the latest chart hits for just £3 each.

Interactive News!

The ever popular News at Ten Forty Four with Pugh Bedwards will also get the iBBC treatment. Just press the red button during the programme to get more information on the news of the day, with all the important stories getting enhanced coverage. During an average bulletin, expect information like where Pugh gets his ties from, how to place bets on the outcome of stories and download ringtones of the latest chart hits for just £3.50 each!

Interactive Games!

Nothing good on our channels this evening? Well don’t worry, you don’t need to go far as our games section, gBBC is for you. With three different games available at any one time, you can play to your hearts content – at a minimal cost of £1.50 a go. And don’t forget our multiplayer games, were you can bet on who will win, and of course download ringtones of the latest chart hits for an amazing £4 each!

Interactive Adverts!

We’ve teamed up with a number of companies to add a new dimension to TV adverts – the red button! During selected adverts you can press red to instantly allow you to place bets or buy ringtones of the latest chart hits!

Interactive Shopping!

Never use the high street again with the BBC Shopping Mall – you don’t need to go anywhere else for your gambling needs, games fun and of course our ringtone shop where you can get the latest ringtones at an amazing price of £4.50.

Interactive Cboobies!

There’s also our kids service, with a choice of educational games where Mrs Boulion and Tipsy-Wipsy will help young kids learn essential life skills, like how to use TV betting and how to download ringtones of the latest chart hits.

Interactive Music!

Yes, there’s even a special iBBC service for the ever popular music show, Top Of The Paps where you can sing along to the latest songs with our karakoke lyrics, plus get special behind the scenes gossip, as well as being able to bet on who will be next weeks number one single! Please note, due to there not being enough space on the satellite, during Top Of The Paps, we will be unable to allow users to download ringtones of the latest chart hits.

As you can see, iBBC is the TV revolution our viewers have been clammering for, and will change their lives forever. So get pressing that red button now!

Preferably the one that doesn’t put your TV into standbye.


Captain Charlies Portent

Head of Interactive Gambling and Ringtone Sales

A Transdiffusion Presentation

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