Congratulations. We’ve lost Eurovision again! 

18 March 2007 tbs.pm/154

Making Your Mind Up website

I didn’t watch Making Your Mind up last night but caught a bit of the rather shambolic results programme (spectacularly they announced one person to be the winner, only to five seconds later decide they got it wrong).

I don’t know what the runners up song was like, but I did hear a bit of Scooch’s song. Great. More bland, uninspiring, instantly forgettable pop that could have come from, well, anywhere. Not worse than last years rubbish, but certainly not better.

But what made it worse was that just moments before announcing the winner, we’d been treated to last years winner – Lordi playing live in the studio (and sounding like someone had removed all their bass for some reason).

That morning I’d seen a journalist from the Daily Telegraph proclaim on BBC Breakfast that Lordi had changed all the Eurovision rules, and the man (whose name I can’t remember) is absolutely correct. The rules have changed. It’s a far cry from many years ago when Britain boldy entered the first ever rap record to Eurovision (Love City Groove) which was pretty trounced.

Sadly the “Great” British voting public clearly haven’t kept up with things – nor have they learnt anything from our continuing Eurovision failures. You don’t vote for what you like, you have to vote for who will win, and Scooch clearly will never win.

Which is why I’ve come to one conclusion. If this country ever wishes to win Eurovision we have to be bold and strong. And we have to quite frankly stop the public selecting our song. There’s no way on this planet that the public of the United Kingdom would ever vote for something like Lordi – or indeed go down a different route entirely. And as such we’ll keep picking the bland, mass-market drivel-pop that gets us no where. And lose we will. And spend weeks wondering why we lost, only to go through and do exactly the same thing the following year.

A Transdiffusion Presentation

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Andrew Bowden Contact More by me

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Liverpool, Thursday 28 March 2024