Round the Larksleigh-Fortinbrass 

15 August 2001 tbs.pm/3171

A quick look at some of the, er, inspired names for characters who appeared in Beyond Our Ken and Round The Horne. These names are not rude. They just sound like they might be.

With thanks to Eric Merriman, Barry Took, Marty Feldman, Johnnie Mortimer and Brian Cooke.

• Seamus Android
• Lord Athelstone of Tring
• Armitage, the musical seal
• Winnie and Fred Atwell
• Ariadne of Shanklin
• Sidney Arborbridge
• Lippy Angst
• Barbara Buttress MP
• Rita Bollard
• Sir Arthur Brown-Horrocks
• Tarquin Bannister-Hicks
• Sir Hamilton Bean
• Vergil Backwater
• District Nurse Fay Botting
• Arnold Boldwicket
• Hugo Blubberlips
• Dame Freda Bannister OBE
• Stanley Birkenshaw
• Dr Gladys Postern, nee Bolstrode
• Blodwyn Blubber
• The Earl of Bedlam
• May Batley
• Celia Backstroke
• Kenneth Bond Special Agent – and invisible mending
• Harry Booth and his Swingin’ Spoons
• Adrian Bolt and The Pacemakers
• Ebeneezer Cuckpowder
• Prinny Cattermole
• Rocky Cattermole
• Sir Redvers Cornposture
• Darryl F Claphanger
• Dr Cronkmeyer
• Mad Alice Cudlipp
• L Dougard Cortinbras
• Mavis Clutterbucket
• Mssrs Cattermole, Mousehabit, Neepthye and Trusspot, Solicitors
• Dr Chou En Ginsberg MA (Failed)
• Lady Beatrice Counterblast, nee Beatrice Clissold
• Judy Coolibah, Australian Tourist
• Brigadier and Mrs Chudleigh
• Arnold Creamtee, of the Devonshire Creamtees
• Johnnie Clogg MP
• Reverend Unseemly Dogposture
• Malcolm Dredgestrangler
• Alice D’Artagnan
• The Very Reverend Ignatius Dangle
• Ludmilla Dogtrouser, the singing nun
• Piggy Dipthong
• Yaroslav Drobnik, the bouncing Czech
• Lady Dovehawker
• Sid and Rita Dipfinger
• Lady Devere Stoatsfumbling
• Dame Sweeney Eggblast, the Clacton Dripping Heiress
• Dr Crimly Fiendish
• Maudie Fiddleworth
• Ethel Fredsnimble
• Nemesis Fothergill
• Pete Frontkettle
• Lord Fustion of Thrax and Ann Thrax
• Arthur Fallowfield
• Irving B Fish
• Albert Figgis
• Hans Foortvangler
• Loomis Grousefavour
• Ramases Gumbrill, the whistling vicar of All Souls
• Sidney Goosecreature
• Rev Ignatius Niblung Goosecreature
• Leonide Grasspepper
• Otto von Grasspepper
• Buttercup Gruntfuttock
• J Peasmold Gruntfuttock
• Ransden Gnomefumbler
• Sherpa Gutbucket and the Electric Druids
• The Widow Ganderpoke
• Brigadier Edith Gormenstrop (Mrs)
• Ramona Grott
• Rex Goodbody
• Charmaine Glasspole
• Gordon LeStrange
• Lemule Ghast
• Artemeus Gluckk
• Hamilton Gore-Strangely
• Detective Inspector Tom Grutt, aka “Grutt of the Yard”
• Detective Sergeant Obadiah Grasspole
• Pixie Hotmuffin
• Polyp Grunter-Pulpitt
• Albert Haverstrap
• Fyffe Hobbertson
• Phyllis Hopkins
• Evelyn and Winnfred Hoist
• Leslie Harblow
• Binkie Huckerback, ageing juvenile actor
• Fanny Haddock
• Sir Gladys Harbinger
• Paddy Handbell and Gladys Runt
• Horseposture and Loombucket, Publishers
• Sir Henry Horseposture
• George Hyeesha
• Daphne Hormone
• Lady Kneetrembler
• Gaylord Haemoglobin